We’re approaching 30, which should be a big milestone. —and I’m disappointed because I still don’t have a personal “style”.I’ve seen countless Ted Talks and followed and unfollowed more influencers than I can remember. but I can only remember a few times when I felt really at home in clothes.Will you help me start my fashion journey once and for all? — Callendar, Detroit
The truth is that it takes most of us decades to find our style, and that style often changes with us. At 35, it seems totally unimaginable. Jobs, family changes, and cultural shifts all affect how we dress to remain who we are.
This is one of the reasons why “stylist” has become such a thriving profession. As you point out, influencers serve the same purpose, but serve as an example rather than an analysis. Their “style” is more like a persona created for mass consumption than something that necessarily matches themselves, like celebrities.
Perhaps our mistake is that we are getting too bogged down in certain elements. Style is the spirit. How to move around the world. Your style has less to do with the words that describe who you want to be (stylish, smarter, efficient, etc.) than the pants, dresses, and shirts you wear. That is why the “three-word method” is currently dominating TikTok.
The method is now attributed to Alison Bornstein, who has been using the method since at least 2016. I also saw it linked to Tibi’s girlfriend Amy Smilovich. Not to be confused with Mao Zedong’s 1974 “Three Worlds Theory” of international relations, or his law of three in color theory, it is a close relative of the latter. Humans have an amazing affinity for 3, the smallest number that can be used to create patterns.